Merrily we write along....

Yes, NaNoWriMo is in full swing for this year, and I am... well, I'm keeping up, but just barely. (Eek.)

There is really just one reason for this, and that is my story has kind of fallen on its face a bit. I had an outline, but I wasn't really happy with it. I think the basic idea is good, but its lacking in some way that I just can't pin down. Hence, the outline that I wasn't happy with and now the story that is all kinds of off-the-outline and going down some crazy path. There have been some good plot devices that have just happened to fall into place, which have helped immensely, but overall? Yeah, I'm thinking its a dud.

And that's okay! Its totally okay to write duds. Its okay to have a story that will never see the light of day (but needs to get out of your head no matter how bad it is on paper). Because in doing this, writing a dud, I have learned other things. I'm paying more attention to world-building for one, which is something I needed more practice at. I'm also learning to spot when my story is falling apart, and how to work with that instead of just saying "screw it" and never working on it again. In this particular case, I think its a lost cause, but maybe some day I will have a story that falls apart and can actually be saved. Perseverance. Yes, that's the word. (I suppose some might also say "stubborn", which is certainly an adjective that's been applied to me a few times.) (Few = a zillion and four times.)

It is difficult, however, to make myself sit down and write this dud story. Its soooo much easier to say "meh" and walk away. Its so much easier to let my dreaded and horrible inner editor say "why bother?" (as she is wont to do) and leave it be. So, I have to let my contrary nature (see: stubborn) take over and sit me down and put my fingers on the keyboard and WRITE. I just turn my brain off and let the people living in my head tell the story. (Yes. The people living in my head.)

Of course, a secondary reason as to why I am only just barely keeping up with my word count would be college. I have homework, and I don't get home until late.... and finals are just a couple weeks away! I have papers that need to be written, and that steals from my "novel writing" time. So, yeah, there is that. I do have to devote time to college studies that otherwise would have been NaNo time. I'm okay with that, even if my word count isn't.

And, more lately, I have also been spending precious writing time looking for better employment. This is an exhaustive task that really requires more effort and time than people may thing. These online resume things that companies use nowadays? Horrible. Dumb. Seriously. They are an attribute of mindless corporate America. There is no human aspect left in this process, and that frustrates (and scares) me to no end. Alas, it is what it is, so I will play the game.

November has turned out to be a pretty busy month, but I will see it through. And I will get to that magical 50k word count!

Stubborn can't be stopped, it can only be slowed down a little.