There are rocks in my head.

Once upon a (very) long time ago... I had a job that I loved. I didn't think it was very special at the time, but now (through the rosy haze of time and experience) I realize that it was just about perfect. For me, anyways.

Pretty much all through high school, and somewhat after high school, I worked for two brothers who owned a couple of mall stores that sold rocks. Yes, rocks. "Decorative rocks", even. It doesn't sound like much, does it? It was pretty awesome though - I was allowed free reign to do just about anything, as long as I didn't burn down the store/mall, break the law and/or scare off the customers. I had one co-worker, and she shared my twisted sense of humour. We tormented our regular customers, and they tormented us right back. My bosses (the two brothers) were great guys, and treated me really well. My duties were: open store, keep inventory stocked, keep store (reasonably) clean, give back the correct change, balance drawer, close store. No deadlines, no pressure, no drama.... Plus, I really do like rocks, and thought that everything we sold was pretty awesome.

And then, the stores closed. The brothers decided to try their luck in New Orleans, with a store on Bourbon Street. They offered me a job there, which would have been awesome if I was old enough to go... but I wasn't and I didn't. After a year or so, I lost touch with them and have never been able to find them again.

It makes me sad every time I think about it. I really miss that job, and those guys. I even miss the rocks. How crazy does that make me sound?? Crazy or not, it's true.

So, now I'm in this job that I loathe. And I think about the rock shop, and I miss it even more. As much as I miss it though, sadly, I don't think I could work in a retail environment anymore because of my current job. It's made me a bitter, angry, jaded person, and its eroded away my patience for dealing with the general public. I don't much like the person that I have become because of my current job. I have struggled with it for a long time now, and I think the only conclusion I can come to is that I need a new job.... I just wish I knew what I wanted to do for that new job. Nothing appeals to me, and I know its because I am so burnt out at my current job. My mind is tired. My spirit is tired.

Sigh.

I need to be more focused on my goals. I need to keep working on those, keep moving forward....