When I was a kid, my family always had used cars, and sometimes those used cars were also pretty old. And, old cars pretty much always need work. I remember many, many... many trips to the local Checker Auto to pick up parts, only to get them home and they would be something completely different. My dad would launch into a tirade about parts store workers, faulty parts catalogs, discontinued parts and the universe in general. None of his tirade was flattering. (Can a "tirade" be flattering?) We would go back to Checker, where my dad would rant some more and eventually we would come home with something "close" to what we needed. After about a zillion trips exactly like this, my dad started taking the original part with him to Checker. This resulted in less return trips and less cursing, even if we still ended up with just something "close". It was then drilled into me to always take your parts with you, if at all possible, when buying new parts.
Done and done.
Today was "work on the cars" day. My Scout II needed a new battery and Bill's Subaru Brat needed.. well, it needed "something". The Brat needs to pass emissions before January 31st in order to renew its registration with the Great State of Arizona. Or suffer the consequences. ($8 late fee.. ohhhhh nooo...) Bill figured that the Brat was most likely going to fail the "idle" portion of the test because the Brat was, in fact, not idling. I figured this was a good guess. While I worked on the Scout, Bill began working on the Brat. He pulled off the fuel filter in the engine bay... and dumped about a gallon of fuel on the driveway. Oops. The Scout, meanwhile, was giving me issues. The old battery had created an atoll of corrosion and the old battery was refusing to part from its moorings. I'm pretty sure inhaling that powdery corrosion stuff is super bad for one's lungs... but, really, who needs lungs, right? Finally, the old battery came free. Meanwhile, Bill had decided to pull the fuel pump from the Brat as well. One gasoline bath later - I advised him not to drink it. See how helpful I am? - the fuel pump was free. I placed the pump and filter into handy ziploc bags, put the Scout's old battery in the back of my Saturn, and off I went to Auto Zone. With my old parts in hand! My dad probably felt this warm surge of pride today, and didn't even know why.
Thus, of course, begins the real adventure.
Auto Zone had the battery for my Scout II - no problem there. They didn't have a fuel filter for the Brat, and the only fuel pump they had was a "universal replacement". Ah, universal replacements, always soooo close, but never quite right. The Auto Zone guy mentioned that I might have more luck at BAP Import Parts. Hmm, I hadn't even thought of that. So, off I went to BAP. Where, of course, BAP didn't have any of the parts I needed in stock. The guy at BAP helpfully called Auto Zone for me, and suddenly Auto Zone had the parts I needed. Ok, really? I'm skeptical that they suddenly grew the parts I needed that they didn't have 10 minutes ago. The BAP dude is like "Hey, do yo know the history of Subaru?" Um... yes? Do I need to? Will it help me find a fuel pump? Ohhh, look at the time - gotta go! Back to Auto Zone. They do not have the part - they just have the stupid universal replacement. Arrrghhh. Whatever, I'm buying it - its something "close". They also have a "close" fuel filter, so I buy that too.
Meanwhile, at home, Bill has pretty much given me up for dead. He's moved on to another project, and is dreaming about mail-order brides to take my place. Then I come home! Ha! I tell him the whole story about Auto Zone and BAP, and really the parts are "close" so I'm sure they'll be fine. He looks at me like I've lost my mind. Bill never has these problems when he goes to get car parts. Whatever. I put the battery in my Scout, and take it for a drive around the neighborhood. As I turn back onto our street, the Scout stalls and tries to die. Oh goody, new problems. Problems for another day. Bill is fitting the new fuel filter and pump on the Brat. It doesn't take very long, and the Brat comes to life. We take it for spin, and you can hear the fuel pump chugging away. Its an electric fuel pump, located right behind the passenger compartment, and it makes this crazy "woosh woosh" noise. Bill says "You know, the old one used to make that noise and one day it stopped. I didn't really think it was that big a deal, but now I think it was no longer pumping fuel." But I'm the one who has lost my mind.
So, now we'll take the Brat to the emissions testing place and see what happens. I think it will pass... but really its a gamble. I'm pretty sure they keep changing the emissions testing requirements in the Great State of Arizona specifically to weed out anything older than 2006. Which, when you think about it - we have Barrett Jackson and SIX other classic car auctions here this weekend, and thats not counting the bazillion classic car enthusiast clubs, the Good Guy Nationals, the many car shows, cruise-ins and restoration/modification shops that find their home here - it's just dumb. Sure, old cars are dirtier and sometimes hard to maintain. Old cars are quirky, have less safety features, and can be rough around the edges. But, old cars are way, way cooler than about 90% of the dreck that the car companies make these days. It took seven tries for me to get the Scout to pass emissions this past summer... let's hope for better luck with the Brat.
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